Remission of Despondence
by Milli Tora
Summary: A dark chuckle. "Don't you see? Abominations like me don't deserve a second chance, or any chance at all for that matter." A vacant expression. "Hope to us means nothing." A demon. A monster. Wanting to atone for the sins of her past.


**A/N: **...Eh. My mind's really scrambled right now with too many story ideas colliding with potential writer's block. And frankly, it's giving me a headache. So for now I'll post this one (since it's the only one my constipated mind will accept --;;). Introducing my OC Tora!! XD Her profile's on my page, so check it out if ya want. Ah! Before I forget: there will be some romance amongst the characters but that won't happen until a little later (although I will drop some hints). Neh, well then let's get this started!

**Warnings**: ...Haven't thought of them yet, aside from some mild swearing. (Possible out of character behavior??)

**Pairings: **Not posting until actual romance appears.

**Disclaimer**: No, I don't own Naruto. He's owned by Masashi Kishimoto, so get that silly idea out of your head.

* * *

_The moon shone high above the village, clear skies giving the moonlight a chance to shower the homes in a warm glow of soft light. The streets were empty of life; the villagers resting in their homes for the night, dreaming of the next day's events or simply indulging in peaceful fantasies of play and peace. The watchmen of the village took this night to enjoy a bit of drinking and gambling, laughing merrily and ridding themselves of the boredom of their task. This particular village had no known enemies, nothing of value to attract criminals or missing-nin. A little bit of fun never hurt anybody and they deserved it for all the years they've spent guarding their little home._

_"Oi! Why doesn't anything exciting happen in this village? Are we so insignificant that criminals simply past over us without sparing us a glance?" A man, about thirty or so years, drunkenly exclaimed, waving a half empty bottle of sake while the others laughed at his almost-falling-over. Two of them grabbed a hold of his shoulders before he could make another attempt to stand and really topple over._

_"Hey, if something really did happen then we'd never get another chance to relax and drink!" Hollered another man, this one probably in his early twenties and equally drunk on rice wine. While the others laughed at the two drunkards, one was quietly twisting his wrist gently in a contemplating motion, watching as of in a daze the sake move from one corner of the small cup to the other._

_"Something on your mind, old man?" Snapping out of his daze, the man turned his gaze to the young man looking down at him, a small hint of concern in his eyes. The old man replied after a moment of silence._

_"It is nothing, young man. Just thinking about those poor children..."_

_"Aw man! Would you stop feeling pity for those wenches? They got what they deserved!" Now the young man features turned from polite concern to twist into contempt, anger beginning to fill his dark eyes._

_"Did they really? They hadn't even done anything to 'deserve' their fate-"_

_"They both conspired with a **demon**! **It** probably wanted them to join in the killing spree that would bring about the destruction of our village! And we did right by stopping them before they went through with their evil plot!" Sighing and not even upset for the young man cutting him off from his sentence, the old man spoke once more to the passionate youngster._

_"We hadn't even gotten prove of this...you may have just as well murdered a couple of innocent girls..."_

_The silence of the night was broken by an inhuman roar, the cries echoing throughout the village and stopping abruptly as they had began. An eerie quiet followed afterward, leaving the village with an air of dread. A couple of lights went off, small beacons penetrating the darkness as clouds moved overhead, blocking the moon from view. The men stayed silent, chills running up and down their spines as sweat broke out on trembling brows._

_"What the hell was that?!" The sudden outburst didn't get a reply as the first explosion happened. The targeted building spewed out flaming debris and rained it down on panic-screaming villagers as they ran from nearby apartments, rushing frantically to get away from the burning building. Other houses exploded, each bursting like fire-red flowers in bloom only instead of a pleasant fragrance they stank of fumes and black ash. Many others followed, the screams of the people rising with each explosion. Back at the watch tower, all twenty-seven guards watched in horror at the destruction. Finally the old man stirred and turned to face the crowd of frighten men._

_"Sound the alarm, damn you! We are under attack!" __From there everything went straight to Hell._

_The entire village was wiped out. A few survivors managed to escape, leaving behind the burning ruins of a once peaceful little village. _

_Flames danced and roared, devouring everything they could greedily, having no mercy for the unfortunates who dared to cross their path. Within the swirling flames and fogs of smoke, terror-stricken eyes could only catch shadowed glimpses of their attacker as it moved through their village, thrashing violently and leaving even more destruction in is wake. Demonic eyes glowing with such murderous intensity, anger radiating off the towering creature in massive waves. Its sharp teeth gleamed maliciously as lips pulled back in a vicious snarl. Lifting its head, the creature let out a bellowing cry of hatred. As if in response, the fires gained intensity, reaching futilely for the heavens, scorching everything._

_By morning there was nothing left of the little village._

_And the receding darkness had taken the creature with it, never to be seen or heard of again._

* * *

**Chapter One: Learning to Adjust In A World Without You**

She supposed it was her being an outsider that had captured the village's attention.

Because really, how often do _demons_ make themselves known to humans? Completely unheard of.

And being a half demon didn't give you any freebies either.

...

Then again, they didn't _know_ she was one and hopefully never will if she could help it. Otherwise it was good-bye potential home and hello to another decade of hiding and roaming. But then..._why_ was she the center of attention?

Walking down the streets of Konoha, the demon-girl took a good look around, absorbing the various buildings and the many humans that walked about. A few curious ones stopped to gaze at her walking down the street with unhurried steps, while others simply went about their business. Thankfully, some of them got bored (really, what's so interesting about another person _walking_?). Eying a small mini market had her thinking thoughts of chocolate and small souvenirs to show her friends back at home. The excited smile adorning her features slowly disappeared and her forest green, amber speckled eyes lost a shade of their shine. Lowering her head so that her bangs could cover her suddenly somber expression, she casually made her way to the door. Subconsciously seeking out the aisle containing the snacks, she let her thoughts pour over her as a distraction.

For the past few months, she had been traveling at a steady but quick pace, weaving in and out of random towns and small villages to look for a suitable place to live in. Half of the time when she was on her 'home hunt' she was either chased out because of some pointless brawl she got herself into or mounting suspicion from the townsfolk who seemed to think that her being there was wrong for some strange reason she didn't particularly care to know about. Luckily, she had stumbled upon this particular village and, while it did seem like a nice little place to live in, she had learned form a young age to never judge a book by its cover so quickly. Shaking her head to dispel her thoughts long enough to grab a box of pocky, she continued to make her way through the store. Something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye and, without a second thought, turned so that the accessory aisle was the next one she was walking through. Colorful bead necklaces and wrist brands with artistic intricate designs had her feeling terribly nostalgic, and unknowingly had a small sad smile making its way onto her face.

_'Neh... Nee-san would have loved these...'_ Grabbing two of each because she had no other choice in the matter, she hastily located the check-out lane while rubbing her suddenly stinging eyes.

The Village of Konoha, from what she had heard from the local gossip, was one of the five great shinobi villages located in the Land of Fire. It was a relatively peaceful village up until a couple of years ago when the war between Leaf and the criminal organization, Akatsuki, broke out. Paying for her pocky and small (in her opinion, even if her heart thought otherwise) worthless trinkets, the demon-girl made her way though the streets. Munching somewhat happily on her chocolate covered pocky, she found a bench to rest on near a local route leading to the village's entrance and proceeded to throw her arms across the seat in a small sigh of bliss. Too much walking was bad, despite what others said. Pulling out another stick, she lost herself in her thoughts once more.

No one was that ignorant, not even a demon, so she had known about the war. The losses weren't that heavy: the Akatsuki had minimal support from other villages and broken down towns while the Hidden Leaf had countless, experienced shinobi, both from Leaf and Sand. During that time, she had gone into hiding, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire and be forced to reveal herself. She had also known of the the Akatsuki's hunt for the tailed beasts, something that had her dreading an encounter with one of the S-ranked criminals. She also thought that was a pretty stupid thing to do, if you asked her. The tailed beasts were the strongest and most dangerous beings that ever walked the earth, completely un-tamable for foolish humans who sought their power for selfish reasons.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of leaves rustling and nearly inaudible footsteps had she not have her sensitive hearing. Cracking a wary eye open from her relaxed position, she saw nothing. But she knew better. Uncrossing her legs and spreading them out in a careless fashion, she took out another pocky stick to munch on.

"Can't hide from me once I found ya. I know you're out there, so might as well come out and show yourself!" She called out in a slight drawl, annoyed that her temporary peace and relaxation was cut short. She hadn't expected hostility to appear until much, _much_ later, so it was a bit of a surprise when several armor clad ninja with animal painted masks appeared before her.

_'Damn. And here I thought I'd look for a place to stay. Oh well.'_

"Is there something the matter officers? Don't tell me I'm in trouble already, I just got here!" Her bored expression didn't match the playful tone in her voice, and neither did it provide a rise out of any of them. _'Che. Too good bastards.'_

"Our Hokage would like to personally greet you into our village. She wishes to meet with you." One of the ANBU had decided to speak up, and while he seemed friendly and polite enough, the demon-girl couldn't help but notice the subtle guarded stance he and the rest of his buddies seemed to have. She resisted the urge to sneer at them, keeping her anger in check and reminding herself that she wasn't here to start a fight with anyone.

_'But damn it, they're tempting me!' _Instead she settled for a mocking smile, the urge to punch the ANBU still not going away.

"Really now? Does she do this with all the other newcomers who come here? Or am I just that special?"

"Please do not make us use force. If you would just follow us, we'll lead you to the Hokage." The same ANBU member spoke up, but this time he made a slight shift, looking ready to do just that should she try something.

_'Sheesh. I ain't looking for trouble anyway.'_

"Fine. Take me to this Hokage of yours." What she really wanted to do was finish her pocky, beat the hell out of those masked faced bastards and get the hell out and as far away from this village as possible. But life was never that fair, so she settled for cursing her terrible luck through out the trip to the Hokage Tower.

--  
--

Goddamn it.

Somebody really hated her up there.

She just knew someone was conspiring against her and right about now they'd be laughing their heads off at her current predicament.

The Godaime was staring at her with a scrutinizing gaze and frankly, it was creeping her out. She hated attention, always had and didn't matter how much of the attention she was getting, she didn't want any of it on her. Careful not to take her gaze off of the village leader, the half demon surveyed the layout of the office. There wasn't much since it was small for an actual office: a cabinet stood on one of the corners of the room, probably containing important documents and books. Tora knew they weren't that dumb enough to leave such things out in the open. The desk where the Hokage sat was filled with scrolls and random papers probably containing missions for the shinobi and, if her vision wasn't failing her, she could just make out the edge of a sake bottle.

_'What the hell? Hokages can get drunk too?!' _Her bewildered expression that she was trying to hide must have shown on her face anyway because the Godaime finally addressed her.

"So, you're new here to the village, am I correct?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And I'm guessing you're also looking for a place to stay?"

_'No, not really. I'm actually just waiting for the perfect opportunity to destroy your village, preferably when you're wasted as hell.' _Rolling her eyes because she couldn't help it, the demon-girl was beginning to wonder if there was any real point to her being here.

"With all due respect Hokage-sama, but why the hell else would I be here? I'm just a wanderer who finally got tired of roaming the world and has finally decided to settle down in some cozy little village for once. Is that really a problem for you? Because if it is, I'll just haul my little ass outta here and look for somewhere else to stay, hopefully in some place that doesn't have people like you asking stupid questions." Here tone was full of contempt, mostly because she was getting annoyed and a little bit just to get a little rise out of the occupants of the room. She sent a glare towards the Godaime to show her annoyance.

"You show the Godaime some respect!" Reprimanded one of the ANBU present angrily, but she really didn't care much for authority at this point in her life. Snorting a 'tch' and turning her head to glare at the ANBU instead, she gave him a scowl.

"And I should listen to you because...?"

"Why you-!"

"That is enough!" Slamming her hands down on the wooden desk, Tsunade cast each of them a look showing them her displeasure. "And you _wanderer_, watch your manners. I won't stand for disrespect for me or any one of my ninja in my presence!" Seating herself once more and taking a deep calming breath, Tsunade became serious.

"I apologize if all of this is sudden and your first impression of this village isn't exactly good but you gave us no choice." At the girl's raise eyebrow, the Fifth explained.

"Recently, the threat of S-ranked criminals in local villages has dropped considerably. We were sent in to investigate at the nearby village of Hanaki after a B-ranked mission there was aborted. The target, Hideki Tori, an up and coming drug and weapons smuggler, was found dead in his office with multiple stab wounds and his head missing." Watching the girl's face for a reaction and finding none, Tsunade continued. "And it isn't only here in Fire Country; there have been other reports of similar assassinations throughout the the other countries, specifically in Amegakure in the Land of Rain, which is known for its status as a refuge for missing-nin."

"If that's true, shouldn't you be happy? I mean, the criminals are dropping like flies and here you are telling me that you're _worried_? If I were you or any other village leader I'd be happy. Less work for me." Inwardly, the demon wanderer began to formulate a plan of escape. If anymore was found out about those killings...

"True. Without so many criminals wreaking havoc, the neighboring villages will have minimal reason to fear. However, that isn't the case for the shinobi villages who thrive on the success of the missions they take on."

"Big deal. You guys can find other ways to keep your villages alive and happy. Besides, what's this got to do with me anyway? I stay away from death and destruction, not bask in it like some psycho." Unconsciously, she shoved her hands in her pockets, an irritating habit that hinted when she was nervous. And right about now, she was ready to go into full blown panic mood. _'Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!'_

Ignoring the girl's first part of her sentence and struggling to keep her temper in check, the Godaime continued, "At every assassination location, there was always a particular signature left behind." Reaching to open a drawer on her desk and pulling out a manila envelope, the Fifth Hokage proceeded to slap the papers contain within on the smooth wooden surface, spreading them out like a hand of cards. "Any look familiar to you?"

Each picture was different, depicting a different victim who had died and at an equally different method. Looking more closely, she found that some seemed to date back to more than a couple of years ago. But the only picture that really caught her eye contained a very familiar mark. Her now widened eyes traced the bloody lettering smeared across a random wall in one of the scenes, and she inwardly cursed every foul-mouthed word she knew and could thing of. Why hadn't she rid herself of that silly ritual?!

_'Great. Now I've made myself look like a common criminal, a freakin' murder for Kami's sake!'_

"So, care to explain yourself, _Naka Aku_?"

"Hey now, look: I am not a criminal of any kind, alright? Yes, I recognize that... morbidly beautiful work of art because I'm the one who put it there, happy?" Apparently sarcasm wasn't going to get her anywhere, since she could sense the ANBU behind her begin to shift into attack mode. Sighing and silently resigning herself to a fate possibly worse than death, she began her explanation.

"Since I have no surname, I'm known as Tora, the wandering somewhat bounty hunter, _not_ a murder. How else was I suppose to survive during my travels? I needed to get money somewhere and hunting down crooks was in my field of expertise. I am not doing anything wrong by getting rid of criminals you ninja weren't getting." Tora was not going to be intimidated or falsely accused. That crap wasn't going to happen to her again, she had had enough of it during her old life. She stood her ground, glaring at the Godaime, challenging her into provoking a very angry demon (not that she needn't to know that _small_ detail).

"No, to some extent you aren't committing any crime. But the brutality of the killings wasn't necessary." It was the Hokage's turn to glare. Tora shrugged nonchalantly.

"Some of them pissed me off. Usually I go in and poison the target or something less 'brutal', as you say, but when they go ahead and get me mad I just have to knock some sense into them before they die. In any case, they would have died whether I had chopped their heads off or bounded them by their ankles upside down while I cut every inch of their body, the latter giving the guy a much more painful death. Hence the reason why I kill so quickly, even if it is a little bloody." The Hokage could only stare, appalled, at how someone could so casually talk about killing another human being as if it were a mundane thing.

"...How did ya figure me out anyway? The tag was pretty much the only thing you guys had to go on so I'm pretty interested to know exactly how ya came to the conclusion that is was lil' ol' me." The curiosity in Tora's tone was what had her out of her daze and, very deliberately, a small smug smile made its way onto the Fifth's face.

"We didn't, you just told us. And it was very helpful of you to have those swords strapped to your pack, otherwise we would never have known it was you." The incredulous expression on the bounty hunter's face was priceless and Tsunade let her know with a small laugh. "Some of the witness at the scenes remembered seeing a 'young girl carrying around two swords and disappearing less than a day after the killing'. And you fit the description nicely, so we thank you for making it so easy for us." Just as quickly the female Hokage turned serious once more. "I have one more question for you before you're free to go."

"Is it gonna be another stupid one?"

"Will you continue your bounty hunting while in Konohagakure?" Tora regarded the Fifth with a solemn expression, her eyes contemplative in their stare. When the silence stretched too long, the Hokage feared that she would have to take some drastic measures. But when Tora showed a small, but hesitant smile the Fifth didn't know whether to let out a breath she hadn't realize she was holding or worry.

"Hokage-sama, I've already told you that I'm a wanderer who's looking for a place to settle down in. My bounty hunting days are over... that is, if you let me stay here in your village." Tora hated begging. Desperation showed a whole new kind of weakness she detested; made her feel like garbage when she had to plead, however subtle it might be. But hopefully it'll pay off and by tonight she'd be sleeping on a soft, comfy bed instead of the hard, rough bark of a tree branch. The blond Hokage regarded her for a moment.

"...Very well then. I expect you to keep your word, Tora. I'll have someone escort you to a suitable living quarters." She turned to the ANBU, who had remained quiet and observant throughout the whole meeting. "Return her belongings and weaponry. And while you're at, one of you summon Shizune for me; tell her she better get here as fast as she can. She knows I'm not an entirely patient person." Tora snatched back her pack and swords back, sending the ANBU guard a silent snarl. He didn't react the way she had expected him to and disappeared in a poof of smoke. She turned her attention to the other one standing near the door, noting his stiff but guarded posture, and turned her head back to the Hokage who had now begun rummaging through the messily organized papers on her desk, stamping a few and discarding others.

"Um...what do I do now?"

"You wait until your escort arrives so I suggest you make yourself comfortable." Was the half-hearted response. With nothing else to do, Tora did just that. Fifteen minutes later, a knock was heard and on Tsunade's approval, a short dark-haired woman appeared through the door carrying what appeared to be a pig. Said pig oinked happily at seeing her master and struggled out of the woman's arms to jump up onto the lap of the Godaime, whom petted her in greeting.

_'...OK. Weird, freaken' weird much.'_

"You summoned me Tsunade-sama?" The dark-haired woman asked.

"Yes. I have a mission for you: you are to take this scroll and head to the address written within it." Blindly tossing a beige scroll to her assistant who barely caught it, Tsunade looked up from her work and motioned toward the figure sitting on the right wall adjacent to her desk. "You are to escort our guest to her new home."

Shizune's dark eyes followed in the direction Tsunade pointed out and made contact with two piercing green eyes. The girl was staring at her with a surprisingly blank expression, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms around them with her head on top but Shizune couldn't help the small shiver of fear that ran down her spine when she looked at that gaze. Something wasn't right about this girl.

"You know, it's impolite to stare." Tora didn't like the woman's expression nor did she like her staring. As if finally realizing what she was doing, Shizune apologized albeit nervously. "G-gomen!" Tora just shrugged and stood up, slinging her pack smoothly over her shoulder and walked towards the nervous woman. She turned to look at the Hokage with an annoyed face.

"Can I go now? It's already bad enough ya got me a babysitter to chaperon me around the village with...or it is that you wanna come along too, just to assure yourself that we don't get lost?" An empty sake bottle narrowly missed her to smash against the wall mere inched from the startled ANBU's head and would have collided with hers had she not dodged in time. A taunting smirk finally made its appearance at the Hokage's fury.

"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!" Shizune didn't need to be told twice and quickly grabbed Tora as she ran out the door before anything _else_ was thrown their way.

-  
-

Tora didn't know how much time had past the moment her eyes opened but she did know it was no longer daylight in the Village of Konoha.

The dark haired woman known as Shizune had left her to her own devices some hours ago, when the sun was still high and Tora had the rest of the afternoon to herself. The apartment, she discovered at first glance, was decent enough. It was a two-story building, with a small family consisting of a female and child living in the apartment below hers (she could smell the scents of early motherhood wafting up through the floorboards, which was strangely soothing rather than unpleasant). And it was conveniently located near the edge of the village; a small quiet neighborhood that suited her just fine. But instead of checking out her new home as she had originally planned, Tora instead staggered over to the small doorway that she'd hoped lead to the bedroom and then everything else from there went black. Now when she was wake did she realize how tired she had been, the hours of traveling to get to the village and the days' events wearing her body out more than usual due to lack of rest. Moving her head around in a curious fashion, Tora crossed her arms and scowled.

_'What the hell am I gonna do with so much space? You'd think there would be at least two other people around, geez.' _Maybe a small exaggeration on her part but it had some truth.

The kitchen and living room were in one big room, no walls to separate the two and with enough room for both (the kitchen had a separate eating table adjacent to the counter with breathable moving space but the parlor still had more free room). A small hall to the left of the kitchen lead to a bathroom and two other rooms she assumed were for guests should they decide to stay over ("Tch. As if anybody would stay with me for a whole night."). A storage room was to the right of the kitchen, opposite to the door leading into the apartment with about twenty or so steps in-between. The front door itself lead to ten steps to climb in order to reach the top of the apartment floor. All of this was taken in as she blindly searched for the bathroom after getting out of bed to take a hot shower.

_'Tora the bounty hunter, never for hire because she never was seen, always feared because she was _Naka Aku_, the demonic assassin,'_ thought the half demon bitterly, the hot water running over her body soothing tense and aching muscles but did nothing to calm her dark thoughts. _'Heh, they got the demonic part right, not too sure about the hunter part.'_ She had never wanted to become a bounty hunter, but somewhere along the way she had gotten the title as she strove to survive in a world that feared, rejected, and hated her kind. Tora slammed a fist against the white tiles, successfully creating a dent. _'Damn them all! They know absolutely nothing about me.'_

An hour later found Tora brushing out her damp hair, clothed in clean sleeping garments, and sitting somewhat dejectedly on her bed. Finally having enough of her pitiful thoughts, she threw her brush on the bed and reached for the side of her bed she knew her pack was leaning against. Dragging it up and untying the string that kept her traveling pack closed, Tora began to take out the various items inside. A few scrolls filled with messy chicken scratch, a small medical kit that was almost empty (Tora made a mental note to drop by the mini market again to buy supplies), the necklaces she brought and other small trinkets from her travels and her spare clothes that seriously needed a washing. Tora furrowed her eyebrows, opening and closing various flaps that contained her other necessities and small weapons at a pace that could only be called frantic.

"Where is it?! I put it in here, I know I did! And I double checked too! I can't lose it!!" She cried out desperately, turning her pack upside down and shaking it violently in hopes to produce the one thing that mattered most to her than anything else. When nothing fell out, Tora felt a sense of sadness and failure all mixed together with guilt. That particular item was too precious to ever lose, the only reminder of her past and lasting symbol of hope she treasured fiercely above all things. And now it was gone forever.

"No... I could have sworn it was in the pack, I put it in there...the only other place it would be would be in..." Suddenly Tora scrambled off the bed and picked up her dirty sweater from the pile in the corner of the bedroom. Fishing around in one of the inner pockets, Tora felt instant relief when her fingers brushed against what felt like paper and triumphantly pulled out a royal blue scroll. Walking back to the bed and seating herself quite cheerfully, she bit her thumb, drawing blood, and wrote the symbol to deactivate the seal around it. The scroll easily spread itself across her bed, revealing the odd kanji written. Now, to some the symbols would have no meaning what so ever and the scroll would be discarded should they get past the chakra-draining seal used to protect the contents sealed inside but to Tora, they held a meaning no one would be able to understand. Before she did anything else, Tora reached for the purchased items and transferred a small amount of her chakra into them. Shaping her fingers into a familiar hand sign, the items disappeared in puffs of smoke, several more odd symbols appearing on the scroll after the last few.

Swiping her had above the first kanji, a puff resounded throughout the silence of the bedroom. When the smoke cleared, it revealed a black picture frame, the moonlight streaming in from the window across from her bed reflecting off the glass protecting a time-worn photograph. Gripping the edges with gentle care, Tora stared listlessly at the people caught in a moment in time where everything was much simpler, where everything was alright and the promises made would be forever kept. Emptiness came then, her natural defense mechanism to uncontrollable amounts of stress, her emotions draining until all that was left was a hollow shell of who she was.

Tora suddenly became very angry, letting out a snarl before tossing the picture frame across the room, making contact with the wall. But instead of shattering, a 'pop' was heard as the frame disappeared back into the scroll. That's right: she made it so that no matter what, the picture would always remain safe, any intentional damage aimed at it would make it seal back into the scroll, activating the protection seal instantly. Mindful of the sleeping family when she really wanted to scream out her sudden rage, Tora stood up and made her way to the sliding door directly ahead of her bed that lead to outside. Once out and surprising herself by closing the door quietly, Tora leaped up onto the roof and laid down, scowl and angry glare still in place, to stare up at the moon. It was full tonight, a giant glowing white orb in the sky illuminating all, casting shadows where it could not reach. Joining it were the many glittering lights that made up the night sky, each star trying in vain to out-shine the other. Looking at the moon always brought her a sense of peace and serenity, and tonight was no exception. Almost instantly, her anger melted way to leave her feeling bereft and utterly alone, two emotions she knew quite well. Unfortunately, they came with painful reminders.

_"C'mon Tora! Let's play!" A young curly haired girl tugged on the hand of a hesitant looking half demon child, the first actual encounter that didn't involve pain._

_"Oh, wow! This gift is awesome! Thank you Tora!" She received a hug from the wavy haired child, the first one in a very long time._

_"Why don't we go into the village? They're having a festival and there will be lots of fun too!" The most fun she had ever had in her young existence._

_"We'll always be together, no matter what! Pinky promise!" The first and last promise she had ever made._

Tora clutched her head as the memories assaulted her mind, each a vicious attack meant to cut her deeply, wound her to the point she no longer wanted to live with the pain of her past. A distressed whimper left her mouth as she forced her body upright in a sitting position, eyes snapped shut and gripping her head tightly in hopes that the sharp fragments of her memory left her alone. Sadly, for the rest of the night, Tora unknowingly would have to face the terrors of her mind without pause for rest. Drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, she buried her face in them in order to block out the voices of the past.

"So why are you so eager to betray...? Pick the pieces up... pick the pieces up..." She found herself beginning to sing softly, her voice trembling with pain and cracking with the force of tears. "So why are you the one that walks away...? Pick the pieces up... pick the pieces up..." A song she would sing when the mental attacks got bad, even if she only knew bits and pieces. For the first time in a very, very long time, Tora felt the cool trails left behind by the salty tears leaking from her stinging eyes, muffled sobs escaping her throat as she tired in vain to stop them. At the moment, however, she couldn't find herself to care for the moment of weakness.

"Pick the pieces up...

pick the pieces up...

pick the pieces up..."

* * *

**A/N:**

Wow.

And this took me quite a while to finish and despite its length, I am not exactly satisfied, neh. Oh well. First chapters for me are always long and boring, an epic struggle to write the first few paragraphs before you realize you know exactly what you're doing. --" Since it's my first story posted, take it easy on me. Or not. Your choice, I don't care. And if this chapter sounds confusing, good, my job is done. (chuckles)

Click that cute little purple button down there and review. Constructive criticism is always welcomed. Flames... not so much (then again, I don't care much for your opinions because it's your own fault for selecting a story you knew you were going to hate, and yes this goes to all potential flamers who are stupid enough to do exactly what I just said.) I'm not mean, just practical. Get used to it.

Quite excited at the moment,

Milli Tora


End file.
